jannypanties

Today I started a book by Gretchen Rubin called 'The Happiness Project, or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean my Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun' and within the first two pages, knew it can directly relate to my life. 

Two months ago, in just one day, every thing changed. Everything. But mostly, the biggest change was that I became happy. Maybe that seems like it should be taken for granted, but in my life it is not, and has been here too little. I feel free, I have energy, I smile and laugh like nobody's business, I can let things go more easily, I can make friends more easily, and I'm not undermining myself at every step. Since then, I've been thinking that THIS is what I've been missing in my life: actually enjoying my life. I thought I was. I thought I was staying involved, and pursuing my interests, and appreciating every day. But I wasn't happy. And I can't put the difference into words to make someone who hasn't felt this feeling know how truly good it is, but the best I can say is that it feels as though my heart has been given wings and a wide open horizon to fly. It's the difference between seeing a picture of a distant place, to being there in person. Nothing in my imagination has ever touched how completely good and real this is.

So, I stumbled into my happiness. Even when I was seeking it, I couldn't have made the one change that needed to happen. If I had been told directly, "If you do this, you will be happy" I know that I would not have. I place the value of every person above my own; I would never hurt someone in order to make myself happier. Even now, I might struggle with it, if I didn't know now that I wasn't making the other person happy, and ultimately that is why I'm here. The author of this book was able to recognize on her own that she could be happier, and set out to figure out how. Either way, I know one absolute truth, shouting from my heart, thatTHIS Is What I Want.

I want to feel this way, every day, every moment.

I am so happy, that every day in my new life has made it worth all of the arguments, the tears, the nights spent sleeping alone. Every. single. day.

The book begins by inviting readers to follow the author's steps in creating their own Happiness Projects. It claims that every person's Project is completely different, but some of the steps to becoming happy are the same. There is a website to help:
http://www.happinessprojecttoolbox.com/manifesto.html
And, I think that I will give this a try. I think that reminding myself of this feeling will help me keep it inside me. I'll follow the suggestions: making resolutions, establishing personal commandments, keeping lists, and I'll post it most likely. Unless I forget, or become too lazy, or no one responds and I become paranoid.

If any of you are interested in the book I am more than happy to loan it out once I am finished. And I would love to hear people's thoughts on happiness, and get my friends involved in this with me. And not just the people I have tagged here, who have been some of the lead stars in this part of my life and why I'm happy--- please, if you read it, I'd genuinely like to hear what you think. :) I'd like to have discussions about it. Share experiences. Learn. Because, to me, THIS is what life and happiness is. Connecting with yourself and with those around you. We only get one shot at this world people. One shot. And I do not want to spend another 8 years wondering how I managed to waste each day.