dragon cakes

if anyone ever feels like getting me a super fancy cake, make it a dragon, please


(all from cake wrecks sunday sweets- the non-wreaky cakes)

Lumpback

Rose's lump was officially a cyst, and was completely excised.

I am thankful.thankful.thankful.thankful.thankful.thankful.

:(

surgery a success!

rose's lump was removed, her teefers were brushed, and her blood was sent out. they say shes doing fine and ready to come home!

my Lumpback

i just got to work from dropping her off at the vet's. i opted for the laser surgery, it's less painful, more precise, and will heal faster. once they remove the lump they'll send it out for biopsy. they'll do other whole bloodwork too since she's almost 5. she also will get her teeth cleaned if they have time, gum disease is a leading cause of death in cockers.

last time she was sick we thought it was nothing, and she turned out to have hypothyroidism!! so, i am saying extra prayers today, that this time it turns out to only be a cyst, and not a tumor.

i'll get to pick her up this afternoon- i gave her lots of love this morning!!

lumpback

my rosie has a lump. on her back. she's the lumpback of canal winchester.


she goes for surgery tomorrow. here's hoping its just a normal cyst, and she comes back to me.

AJ

Albie and his wife Nancy

AJ had spinal cancer twice as a child and beat it both times. It's an extremely rare form which is normally a brain cancer, and in only a few people has ever formed in the spine. In fact, he was one in only 20 people who have ever had this form. It came back again two years ago, and they treated it. That put him in a wheelchair, but there was hope he would still walk again. Then, this fall, they found a second cancer in his chest. They gave him six months to a year to live. The hospital never could start chemo for it, because he developed infections in his body that they had to treat first. Two weeks ago, he started having seizures, and they found a block in his spinal column keeping fluid from going to his brain. It was determined to be yet a third tumor. They tried radiation late last week, but he reacted badly to it, so his wife and parents decided to take him home and make him comfortable until he passed.

AJ passed away yesterday, quietly in his sleep. He simply stopped breathing. Our whole family is grateful that his pain is now eased, his cares are taken away, and his spirit can be free to wait for us to join him. He was a deeply religious man, but not pushy, and only in a loving and spiritual manner. He was passionate about politics, social programs, unions, and sports. He lived his life knowing he was given a short amount of time, and enjoyed every minute of it. AJ was fiercely intelligent, annoyingly hilarious, and fun-loving to the core. While it sometimes led down a road that made you hope nobody took pictures, he never regretted an instant of it. When I saw him last at Christmas, I asked him if he was afraid to die. His answer was a solid, "no".


The family in 2008

he's at peace

aj passed away at 1:30 today.

the bearer of bad news

AJ started radiation for the blockage causing his seizures this week, but he had a bad reaction to it. They stopped, and he went home today. He will be on hospice care until he passes. My sister (an oncologist) doesn't expect him to live more than a few days.

We're expecting to attend his memorial service next weekend.




How is it possible to have this in your head? Knowing, expecting death, but unable to grieve? Feeling the wrongness in 'expecting' death, feeling that by expecting it you are somehow contributing to it? Afraid to give up hope even yet. Already missing someone who isn't gone. I don't know how, I don't know how to deal or what is right to think or feel.


Also we received news today that our Uncle Paul, who was our grandfathers brother and who filled the role of Grandpa for the past 10 years, also has cancer, and is not expected to live more than 6 months.


My head is swirling.

tagged

i was tagged by savvy sarah to post the 4th picture from the 4th folder in my My Pictures folder.

which happens to be, this:


a photo taken in college that i then scanned in, and my scanner sucked balls. in fact, the folder was titled, "my scanner sucks ballsack". that's me in the blue, 2nd from the left. this was taken at our college bar the Regal Beagle, which is famous for being the best college bar ever. tuesdays and fridays they had Quarters... which was, a cup of beer for a quarter. still the best deal i've yet to come by. that's a full frickin cup of beer, too, no teensy dixie cups at the Regal Beagle. i'm holding a deck of cards, about to deal out a drinking game, to put those cups to good use.

ΔΖ is the name of my sorority, Delta Zeta.

one week

you may count down with me.... seven days, six, five... next Thursday, the return of my show, and my two love interests- Sam and Dean

if i had a baby, i would buy this

Nerdy Alphabet poster on etsy

i could always edit your face

Sometimes I wish I had as much attitude as LOLcats do! LOL

Quote of the Day

"and now I fucking have to deal with it. And I hate fucking dealing with things... I'd prefer to just pretend they didn't exist"


from Weeds, a series on Showtime that we're watching now due to the recommendation of my brother


Not as good as Dexter but so far its funny and we're liking it.

tired

AJ is doing no better. he doesn't know what is going on around him or who is there. the spinal tap showed no sign of infection, so they suspect yet another tumor in his spinal column blocking fluid flow to his brain. this in addition to the one in his neck/chest and the one on his vertebrae. apparently the plan is to do a whole-brain radiation, which normally takes 3 weeks but the will increase the intensity and do it over 5 days. following that, he will most likely be put on hospice care, in the hope that he can go home and be aware again. D&G seem to be shells of themselves. we are worried.

my sister put it best-- almost 10 years ago to the month, we lost our mother, and D&G accepted us into their home to take care of us. now, the situation is reversed, and they are losing a child. they don't deserve this. they are so wonderful. my heart is breaking.

Update on AJ

AJ is in the Cleveland Clinic again, he went in at the beginning of the week having what they were calling "seizures". Thursday I got this text from Don

"Aj awake 1st time in a few days asked for ice
cream told nancy pretty spinal tap fri pray"

And I spoke with him last night around 7, they still had not had the spinal tap done. They had had him fast all day, and came in around 6 and told him, No, they had to reschedule for Monday. D&G fought it, and were trying to still get it done yesterday. It will hopefully tell them if the seizures were caused by inflammation, infection, or perhaps a brain tumor.

I am keeping my footing on this cliff. I am trying to not fall into that fear, anxiety, grief. I am praying. I am praying for AJ, for D&G, for Nancy, Andy, Liz. All of us.

Happy New Year!

Happy 09 everyone! I do NOT make resolutions, so I won't be boring you with any lists of things that I will only end up not following through on anyways. But I am very very happy that 08 is behind us all now, and I'm looking towards a new start in 09. It's going to be our lucky year!! (We're past due on good luck, I'm collecting).

We had a great time ringing in the new year with E&S at Bar Louie. There was much intoxication and inappropriate behavior to be had! It took me all of yesterday to recover. Definitely a great start to a *great* year!